CLICK HERE to find out who else is playing tonight in Cincy.





 

STAY TUNED FOR THE WHACK OFF CREW!


whackOFFrecords@gmail.com

 


BRB

 

7.30.08
3:54am
It is twelve hours and six minutes away from the trade deadline.........most of those I will be sleeping. Dreaming of a day where teams stay together, players play for everyone but themselves, and win championships. That, my friend, is how it's *done.

---spliff''s predictions---
Hats backwards to Junior in Seattle again, and may the *done be with us.
Edwin will explode in '09
Jay Bruce will prove he is a center fielder.
Votto will blow up lefties.
Marty, Thom, and Jeff will become optimistic.
Brandon Phillips will have several more ridiculously under-rated seasons.
I wish we had a shortstop.
We will eventually win.
It is in us.



 

 

7.15.08
LISTEN!

"I work my butt off to be one of the best second baseman, defensively, in this game.  I'd rather make it to the playoffs than to the All-Star Game or win a Gold Glove.  Then I'd have other guys to share it with instead of worrying about myself."
- #4 Brandon Phillips

"Maple is good, but whenever you have a hairline crack, your bat explodes. If  it's a soft liner to second base and the pitcher is ducking. ....... I don't want one of my bats sticking somebody in the head."
#44 Adam Dunn

"We played some good games with these guys, but the bottom line is you've got to win.  Good games don't count as wins."
#32 Jay Bruce

"It's always nice to walk out with a four-run lead after giving up five,"
#61 Bronson Arroyo

"It isn't easy, is it?"
-Dusty Baker
 

 

7.7.08
F#$K LEATHER PANTS. VOLTRON TO THE ALL-STAR GAME!!

Reds' architect returns

It sounded great at the time. The Reds would move into their new closet of a ballpark with a lineup of large men ready to homer their way into local hearts and minds. It was that time in baseball history. Chemically enhanced Popeyes were hitting baseballs into various avenues and bays. Chicks dug the longball. So did everyone else.

It comes up now because the Washington Nationals are in town. Their General Manager, James G. Bowden IV, was the principal architect of the plan that didn’t work. To be fair, the plan made sense when it was hatched.

The Reds would build Great American Small Park (GASP!) with the smallest dimensions Baseball allowed. They’d draft Adam Dunn and Austin Kearns in June 1998, big-bicep guys who could hit the ball a mile. Or in Cincinnati’s case, 325 feet down the rightfield line and 328 to left. By the 2003 opening of GASP, Dunn and Kearns would be ready to rock.

Bowden would add Wily Mo Pena in the Rule 5 draft. Pena was a born DH who was allergic to speed and defense but could stroke a batting practice baseball like it was a Titleist ProV1.

The crowning glory would be bringing home Ken Griffey Jr., to swing for the short fences and pass Hank Aaron.

It worked best as a concept. The Reds did hit lots of home runs. Also, they became the dumb blondes of the National League, a title they still hold.

(By the way, in ’03, the first year of the GASP, I suggested the club rename the seats closest to the visitors’ bullpen in right “Griffeyville’’. I ran it past Junior. “I’m not a pull hitter,’’ he informed me then. Griffey explained his power ran toward the alleys. Uh-oh.)

Between 2003 and last year, here’s how the Reds ranked in homers in the 16-team National League: 6th, 6th, 1st, 2nd and 3rd. And that’s with Griffey hurt half the time.

Here’s where they ranked in wins: 13th, 10th, 13th, 7th and, drum roll, please, 13th.
This year, Cincinnati stands fifth in home runs and 12th in wins.

There could be a pattern.

I’m not often a stats guy. Stats are like politicians and the decisions they make:

Arbitrary, capricious and deceiving. Not these, though. Here are a few more:

In 2003, the Reds ranked 6th in the NL in homers and 13th in runs. They lost 96 games. In 2006, the Reds hit one more home run than the Philadelphia Phillies. . . and scored 116 fewer runs. The following year, they hit 33 more longballs than Colorado and scored 77 fewer times.

Take me home, Adam Dunn.

The Reds still swing from the high heels, and run that way, too. Too often, they couldn’t buy a two-out, two-strike hit if it were on sale at Wal-Mart. When hitting home runs is all you do well, you don’t win when you’re not hitting them. This year, the Reds are 5-22 in games they’re homer-less.

We’ve praised the offense over the years, mainly because we’ve seen the big names, if not the big picture. Junior! Dunn! The Reds are like the Bengals that way. Big names – Chad! Carson! T.J.! – hide the cracks in the foundation.

Walt Jocketty has the keys to the Big Man’s car. He has a few advantages: A roster loaded with free agents who should rent by the hour, a track record suggesting he knows what he’s doing and, a pair of working eyeballs.

With Bob Castellini’s money and blessing, Jocketty will remake the roster to look more like a contender and less like a killer lineup at Rumpke Park. Line drives would be good, first base to third on base hits up the middle, the chance to beat teams games without having to clobber them into submission.

Jim Bowden thought the Reds would bash their way into your hearts. It hasn’t worked. Time to change the message on the valentine.

By Paul Daugherty

VOLTRON vs. HAMMY?
July 15th

 

 

7.4.08
FUCK YEAH!
 
Once again it is four days after the last day in June. Many explosions occurred, and many situations were exploded. With the above video in your mind, and Tom Cruise in your hinder. Brain = Blender.
 

 

HAPPY FREEDOM DAY 2008
REMEMBER HAPPY FREEDOM 2007?
We like fireworks.

Sorry if you lost sleep.
HAPPY FREEDOM 2008 COMING SOON.
  

 

FORGET ABOUT IT
....Pics from the 6.20 show....

.

More will be added soon.

 

6.22.08
 
R.I.P.

 

6.9.08


Congrats Jr.

 

6.8.08
LOCAL H

BREED

TOXIC

TAME

TIME

FREEBIRD

HANDS ON THE BIBLE
Watch out for these guys. I have a huge clue.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/darfur/view/main.html

 

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR WONKY TONK .

 

5.30.08

JUNE 20th 2008......Don't miss this one. Forget About It has regrouped with new members and are ready to fuck your ass up. The night will be full of surprises. Lazy D will be hosting the show and our friend Wonky Tonk will be playing also. Blue Rock Tavern rocks, the beers cheap, there will be kick ass music, and it's FREE! Yes, you heard right, it's free. Now you have no excuse to come out and rock out with your cock out........see you there.

 

F$#K THE CUBBIES!
 

 

5.19.08
Heading to Dodger Stadium with a 17-4 record on the road doesn't sound appealing. Especially when Bronson Arroyo takes the mound. May all the "fair-weathered fans" please shut the fuck up.

On July 27th, 2005, The Vegan Diaper and I personally attended a hard-ball duel at Dodger Stadium. The Cincinnati Reds defeated The Los Angeles/Anaheim Dodgers as Ryan Freel snagged five stolen bases. Junior went deep as I eve-dropped upon Dodger fans' dreams of trading to acquire Adam Dunn.

Opening Day made promises...

Bring it on California!

Speaking of the upcoming west-coast road trip, our Skipper said the following...
"Historically, it hasn't been very kind to the Reds," Baker said. "Even when they had the Big Red Machine. I wonder why? Are guys going to the beach? Going to Disneyland? I don't know. Well, it's time for a change."
-Dusty Baker

.363 , 36 rbi , 10hr , in 43 games.

With seven west-coast games, without a day off......I recommend a promotion or two.

44 strikeouts in nine games.
whack

 

5.5.08
I don't know what the fuck WTF? means....
 

.......but this deserves it.
..whack

 

4.14.08
NEW WHACK RADIO!

WHACK RADIO Episode Three
"Third time's a harm."

DOWNLOAD : 003WHACKradio4.14.08.mp3


CLICK HERE TO YELL AT US!
whackoffrecords@gmail.com

 

4.27.08

6.20.08

 

4.20.08

 

 

4.18.08

HELLO EVERYONE! Snake here, and I am ready to give you your daily dose of  Reds-ology:
The Reds are on a slight skid and need to keep the gears grinding. Volquez and Cueto are looking solid as hell and are in no need to worry, but the cause of concern is Josh Fogg and Your Boy-Yo; Bronson Arroyo. I'm not hatin' on Bronson by his pitching ability, but he is in dire need of a Colon Cleanse (all those JTM's). Bronson needs to keep his career in the mix of pitching, not playing guitar. His focus should be on his 88 mph curveball than his JTM angus burger and his cookie duster, Chris Welsch. No need to panic just yet though. I trust Baker and i feel that with the right pitching and run support, The Reds will tear some shit up in the Central. Until then, Smell Ya Later.
 

 

4.10.08


8.1 IP, 7.56 ERA, 2 K's

 

4.6.08
WATCH THIS MOVIE..

 
HOW HIGH?

 

4.3.08
 5:10am

Going to the game today.
A picture recap of  last night.


TODAY
Johnny Cueto vs. Doug Davis

GO REDS!

 

4.1.08

Powered by three solo shots (Chris Young, Eric Byrnes, And Jeff Salazar off the bench) The Arizona Snakes cruised by the Reds on Opening Day 2008. Finally the Reds are here. It's an introduction to warm weather, grilling out, and yard work. All of which go great with Marty, Thom, and the Cowboy by the way. With the radio matching suspiciously well with the TV, Aaron Harang pitched a quality game. He got through six innings while allowing only 3 runs and striking out six. Too bad the best offense in National League was asleep. Only two runs were scored all day. One by a predictable RBI triple from Brandon Phillips (Griffey Jr. looked about 24 yrs. old scoring from First) , and another from Adam Dunn's lazy ground ball scoring Phillips from third. The Redlegs looked good though. Harang pitched well, and so did our bullpen. Our offense was lacking, but the offense we had was from sources we expect it from. I think the Reds will be just fine this year. I can't wait to get my ass to some games.
88 Wins this year!!!

Junior.... rounding third and heading for home.
\
BP doing the "Triple Dance"

George Grande calls me Coco.

When did we sign Uncle Fester?

Plotting where to place a homerun on Wednesday.
161 games left to go.
GO REDS!

 

3.30.08
BLAZE

More Lazy D videos at his Myspace page.

 

3.30.08
OPENING DAY TOMORROW

Did you know that the movie The Hunt For Red October opened in theatres right before the Reds 1990 season?
Coincidence? I think not.

GO REDS!

 

3.26.08
One of the funniest things I have ever seen.
 
Go wash your hands 'cuz your gonna be lickin' em.
 

 

3.17.08
CHECK THESE BANDS OUT NOW!!!


The Blue Rock Boys



Eatafetus Trio



Wonky Tonk


watch out for 6.20.08

 

3.5.08
INTRODUCING...

Happy march to y'alls! It is another month here at Whack and we know we have been lazy as shit, but do not worry because progress is at hand. Here at Whack we want to please you as much as we can. Burfat Shitpants is in the factory making T-Shirts and Spliff...well, lets just say Booker shit and Pabst Blue Ribbon do not mix. Stay tuned for a all new Whack Radio Part Tres, which will have all new 13 Questions, NOFX afterthoughts, as well as crazy ill shit.
 

 


1.10.07

Hope all you bitches are getting pumped up for the lastest edition of
the ever-chauvinistic WhackRadio! I've been working hard on the new
product line for Fosdick United (TM), and we should have a few sample
products soon. I would comment on the latest political news since the
Ohio primary is a cummin' up, but my favorite vegan candidate/hobbit
Kucinich has since dropped out, oh well. In less than two weeks the
diaper will be doing a live Whack show somewhere in Cincy, until then
keep your diapers ridin' high.
-VD

Burfat Shitpants
 

 


1.6.08

Max Snake sent me this clip.
 

 



JUST ADDED 1.18.08!!!

WHACK RADIO Episode Two
 




DOWNLOAD : 002WHACKradio01.18.08.mp3

EMAIL : WHACKOFFRECORDS@gmail.com

 


 

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